Soon after I had posted my first blog post, I posted the link to it on a Facebook group I belong to. No big deal, you may think. Not necessarily. See, the old me was a perfectionist. I didn’t reveal/do/say anything that I didn’t think was good enough (bar the (many) accidental slips). Criticism, to me, was the same as failure. FAILURE. Seriously??
Now, about this particular story, since the St. Thomas retreat, I have had major shifts and one of those shifts has been “I’m UNSTOPPABLE”. And also, “I don’t care what anyone thinks about me. As long as I am authentically me, and in alignment with my calling, so what!?!”
Thinking it, and actually putting it into action are two different things, but the excitement I felt could not be constrained. I did it. The reactions were amazing. I noticed how the old me would have reacted to some things, by feeling contracted and hurt by what she would have seen as criticism. Wow, the liberation – I didn’t feel any of it.
Like so many, the old me spent her life trying to please everyone around her – an impossible task, and she had known it was for most of her life. It didn’t stop her from continuing to try to be it, though. If she couldn’t make someone happy, it was her own personal failure. If she made any mistakes, she clearly wasn’t good enough and had to do better. She had held herself to such impossible standards, which by the way, she didn’t hold anyone else to, there was no way in hell she would ever succeed. Talk about setting yourself up for failure.
If you recognise any of that in yourself, I invite you to let it go now. There is no such thing as a perfect human being. Human beings are by their very nature “flawed”, and that is the perfection right there. I had to put it in quotes because it now feels wrong to even call them flaws. They’re all perfect and beautiful qualities, and as long as you’re being authentically you, you are PERFECT!